OREGON, WA–Local man arrested and put on death row arrested after streaking in local rat factory in Oregon this morning. The morning of 10/7/2025 started normal, as the workers of local Rat factory, Ratatoing Factories Incorporated, walked into work with a man, naked, yelling “FREE THE RATS YOU FREAKING LUNATICS” over and over. Obviously, as anyone would have done, nobody batted an eye and continued working at the factory lines. But, as the local night guard walked in during the work day, he called 9-1-1 on the naked man, threatening that he is police and that there is a naked man. The police were confused, as would anyone would be, and they went there. Still yelling at the man on the phone that “he is not a police officer.” they arrived shortly after the call, and the naked man started frolicking away. Local Oregon police officials tried everything they could to stop the man, but what ended in a 100-hour police chase, they couldn’t stop him for more than 100 hours. They tried PITT-ing him, hitting him with tasers, and even shooting a police-certified AK-47 assault rifle at him, but nothing worked. What then ended the chase in Los Angles, Wisconsin was him getting tired and his mom yelling at him to get in the house (he wasn’t local). He obliged and after getting into his house, he exited the safe-zone and was then arrested and taken to jail. He is on death row and will be executed on 5/7/2029.
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